We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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