i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
then he tried to convert me to islam
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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