You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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