So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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