Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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