This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
