SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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