The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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