dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
