I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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