What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize