I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize