Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
