If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
