Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
