Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
