Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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