I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
