if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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