She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
