Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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