He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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