Jerry, you need to find god
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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