dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
