Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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