If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
