Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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