Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
