Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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