just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
