Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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