You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
