He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
