Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
