Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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