white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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