Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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