All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
