Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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