the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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