i permit you to call me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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