hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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