I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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