dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
worst night to have a conscience
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
