i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
