i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
