Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
