im drinking this country out of the recession.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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