So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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