Im at strip club and am horny
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize