Joe is yelling at the trees again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
