She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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