YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
