The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
