You smell like a Billy Joel song
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize