So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
