so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
