Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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