I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
