I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Even my vagina gasped.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
