i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
