i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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