He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
