Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
