i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize